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Final Blog Post: Student’s Choice

May 3, 2020

As this semester and my time in college draw to a close, I thought it would be a good activity for myself to look back at what I have accomplished in my time at college and think about what I am looking forward to in the coming years. The end of my senior year has been very anticlimactic and pretty depressing, so I think this is a good exercise for myself to think about the positives. This information is composed of things I have never said publicly or put on any social media, and in fact they are things I am very nervous to put online, so I think this is also a good way for me to practice being proud of my accomplishments publicly, albeit on a small scale with very minimal risk. I generally avoid putting accomplishments and information about myself online, but through this class I am learning it is ok to work through things online in a more public and potentially judgemental setting. I also have learned that social media isn’t necessarily something I have to avoid posting on to promote a positive image of myself, I can also use it to post things I care deeply about, and in that way try to cause positive change. It is something that makes me feel very vulnerable, so I am excited to try it out here on this blog before moving to any other social media platforms where I generally remain innocuous.

When looking back at college, I am very proud of everything I managed to accomplish in 4 years. I had a challenging time emotionally in high school and had very high stress friends, so when I came to college I was looking to make friends who like me for who I am and were lower maintenance so I could focus more on academics. I made absolutely wonderful friends, including my freshman year roommate who I lived with for all 4 years of college. I didn’t end up pursuing music or sports like I did in high school, but I think it is ok that I strayed from what I had originally thought college would be like. I learned about new cultures from my friends, many of whom are from India, and although I did not get a chance to study abroad, I was able to partake in new experiences that helped me develop a sense of what career I want by taking a semester off from classes and pursuing an internship at a hospital where I shadowed and did research. I tried out a few different types of laboratory research which ultimately helped me decide I didn’t want to go down that path professionally, and I developed an interest in teaching by TA-ing, tutoring, mentoring, and advising other pre-med students, and I hope to be able to follow through on that one day. I got to be a part of the greater Binghamton community by volunteering downtown for a few years and getting to really know some of the older residents in the area, and I developed long-lasting relationships with some of the people I worked with in my various endeavors. I also was able to succeed academically, joining a few honors societies I really cared about and ultimately winning a few awards for students in STEM and for females achieving academic excellence. I spent many late nights studying and making memories with life-long friends. 

Ending my time early has been really hard. I have a lack of closure with all the people I have worked with and spent the last few years developing relationships with. I didn’t get to cross many things off the last-year bucket list my roommate and I made over winter break. I spent a lot of my time working tirelessly towards the end-goal of getting into a medical school, and I can’t help wondering if I missed out on times with friends and memories that I could have had if I just took a few days off. In the end, I am going to medical school in the summer, and I will always have my friends that I made, but it really isn’t the same without those last few weeks together. 

Now, on a more positive note, I want to write about the things I am looking forward to. I look forward to finishing work for classes and my lab so I can work on fixing my awful sleep schedule and finishing all the books I am in the middle of reading. I am looking forward to seeing my college friends again once stay at home orders lift so I can congratulate them all on graduate school acceptances and make up for some missed birthdays. I look forward to whatever graduation ceremony is going to happen, as well as my (hopefully) upcoming white coat ceremony. I look forward to moving back to Brooklyn, my hometown for the first 8 years of my life, and moving in with my boyfriend of 6 years after 4 years of long distance dating. I look forward to starting the next chapter of my life and seeing what medical school has in store for me. I look forward to moving into a new apartment and decorating it and then not having to pack and unpack again for at least 12 months. I look forward to getting a cat and maybe eventually a dog. There are so many things I am looking forward to, and I think it is important to think about the future now when everything is so difficult so I don’t fixate on what I am missing out on. 

This already is so outside of my comfort zone. Posting emotions, achievements, and dreams online is incredibly vulnerable and something I really struggle with. I consume a lot of media and social media, and I admire those who are confident enough to put everything out there, or at least whatever version they are willing to share. I hope that moving forward I can develop the courage and confidence to put personal and positive messages on my social media to help others and to get through difficult times together, even if it means being a little vulnerable.